Most Broken Moments In The Indian Marriage Occasion ah Vale !
Veil System Has Disappeared But Alas The Vale System Isn’t !
● Indian Marriage System in which the bride ‘s farewell ceremony is ah most broken- hearted moments and the bride has been sent from her parentshome to the inlawshome with heaviest sigh.Is this custom a Male Dominant Custom and except it there is no other way or solution : An Easeful Suggestion in this regard if possible though each husband has brought somebody’s daughter as his wife and he has too sent his sister to other house as somebody’s wife . And the custom is on for the centuries and all parents of the daughters ,all brothers of the sisters are helpless to bind with this custom. ●
In India the marriage occasion is like a big fest yeah whether it would be the Hindu or Islam society the occasion is taken so highly with pious and social heights. Yeah in the Christian marriage can take place on any sunday and in the Sikh community on any day of the week and in short and limitate term while in the hindus a huge ritual colourful customized heights can be watched with dense zeal and passion . There are no selected guests but the whole community is invited by the organizer . Yes even the distant or remote relatives or less closer relatives are invited with the foremost relatives from both the sides with heart , pomp and grace.
In the hindus marriage date is decided according to the auspicious period according to the indian astronomy and calendar (muhurt ) or omen time and many ritual systems are held for 3 to 4 days and the ceremony gets end with the sighful ceremony of farewell of the bride. In the Indian marriage cult the groom reaches out there at his bride’s house with his parents, kins, relatives , well-wishers, neighbours and friends that is called BAARAAT and there is no appropriate word in the so called rich dictionary of Oxford that can be justified with this original word Baraat though Procession and Demonstration are the words but don’t justify perfectly like barat . Yeah the word Baaraat gives a different and unique indian customized feeling . Yes there is no prior word in the Oxford Encyclopedia why , because in the marriage sense no custom is followed by the Christian community as like the Hindus and their system is different . Yes in the christian society both the parties – Bride and Groom gether at the church and no Baaraati no Gharati there . But in the particularly Hindus cult there are so much spiritual rites followed and a long process takes the place in the different ways .
Yeah through the certain ritual bond the bride has to say goodbye to her beloved parent , siblings and her parentshome (Mayakaa ) and now the groom’s house ( inlawshome) is gone part of her for ever and becomes the mistress of her husband and husband’s parent’s property or parental asset. And with the ritual bond she becomes very important member of other family and equally owner of her husband’s property. Yes being a vital organ of the bonded family an extra responsibility shouldered on her that she complies throughout the life . Since it several new relations get started automatically.
But having all pluses that bond invites some minuses yeah particularly the Bride’s farewell. Yes this parting moments are so teary and brokenhearted for the Bride’s side and naturally no tear trickles from the eyes of the groom’s side because they are gainer and the bride side is the looser because the bride parents deliver their grown up baby , a piece of their heart to the other family . Thus the fest that starts with great enthusiasm and pleasures ah gets end with sighing and weeping for the bride and bride’s parents, kins, etc. Why because the Bride is gone estranged formally since this date and formally her rights come to an end indirectly from her paternal site because with this neo relation she becomes the mistress of her life partner’s property and an inevitable organ of that family . With this social ritual bond the life partner of the bride gets all the conjugal rights . Yeah though according to the new legislature of India the girls or daughters are also the partner equally like her brothers in her parent ‘s property . The dowry system was one kind of the share that the parents give to their daughter but according to the new law the demand of dowry is illegal . Yes due to dowry the bride’s parents give their daughter aa much as possible. So the daughter wouldn’t have the right on her father’s property and then no daughter would be remained the owner of her parent’s property and when any occasion would be happened in their daughter’s site there in the inlawshome or Sasural then the bride’s parents and bride’s brother/brothers perform all the rites that is said Mamera/mayaraa in the indian dialect or maternal site rites under which dresses ,
ornaments ,cash amount are given as the offerings to daughter and her inlawshome closest and foremost relatives . But according to the new law the daughter is equally owner of her parents’ property like her siblings despite married . This law is good that enables the daughters.
The parting or isolation moments of the daughter turned bride after marriage bond are so heartbreaking and tears’ whelming or tragic because the bride’s parents send her sweetest ,closest heart beat darling bud to other parents’ home whom they have known earlier or newly in the fewer way . And now their darling bud has to live with other parents by adjusting all oddies and evens yes with other strange or unfamiliar person as her life partner and his family .
Yes it’s often asked that who has made this trend that the daughters are sent to other parents’ home on the name of nuptial bond and yes the question is why the bride is sent why not the groom and if any groom does it then he has been insulted and seeing with the loathsome view . It’s not fair for the society . And people use so prosperous metaphor for that groom by saying– Joru Ka Gulam, Bika huva dulhaa, Sasural Ka Paltu Kutta,etc.And these kinds of idoms tease out for the groom and put the groom in the depression though some Grooms enjoy it without care the people’s taunt .
Yes the girl as the daughter of the certain family departs from her own home and in each society she is taken as the Parayee or alien.
So according to my attitude the bride must have to make marry only in the same town and one day the groom would live at his bride ‘s home and other day the bride at her groom’s home or whenever she wants may go her parent’s house thus she is quite free for it . Yeah there are such examples in my knowledge that the bride’s house and groom’s house are in front of each other- Tere Ghar Ke Samne Ek Ghar Banaunga or the courtyard is the same of both the houses and grow up by playing all the domestic regional game with each other .Yeah the domestic or mohalla (colonial ) game like Maardadi, Sitoliya, Langdi , Kancha Patti, etc.
Yes Kancha Patti is a courtyard game in which the tamarind seeds’ two parts are used as dice and according to the dice the player has to move his chessmen (gotis) and it can be said Chaupad or Deshi entertaining luck based game. Yes playcards and marbles games also enjoy by the neighborhood children , etc . Thus there is no home sick, no isolation from beloved parents , no separation of the siblings , losing no local friends , neighbors , etc .
So it’s only the solution that the bride and groom would be from the same village , same town and the same city yes same city but the same colony or same hamlet . And it is possible if the society would understand the groan of the bride. Yes we know that the audieu ceremony or moments are so teary and broken hearted because the daughter now turned bride and daughter in law of other family now the wife of that strange person who has to leave her beloved parent’s house and to be estranged ever with new bonding relation .
So the daughter should have been bonded the chap from the same colony then no feeling would be place of alien to the daughter and the daughter’s family and there would be no broken and teary moments of separation there. Yes then there will be no heartbroken song echo or chant there – ”Babul ki duaye leti jaa jaa tujhko sukhi sansar mile” yes the song from the famous movie Neelkamal.
And we often see that the person gets job but is appointed so far and thus he is helpless to leave his parents and the parents do not like to leave their native place and despite all facilities there in the city where their son is appointed because there is all new faces ,no long familiar contemporary faces and no zonal dialect so obviously feels boredom and feel homesick . Yes the parent’s son is so much busy in his job in the city, yes for the parent the daughter- in -law is not the real daughter , the father and mother in law can’t be urged daughter-in -law like their own daughter . So the situations are in imbalance though seem even and balanced and the conditions are like mirage .
Ultimately the essence of the note is that each mother and father never want that their beloved or the piece of their heart the daughter and daughters would remain away from them . And one more thing -how is she being treated at her husband’s home they can’t know and obviously can’t enjoy like her parent’s home. So the concept should be adopted by the societies that the daughters must be given as the bride only in the same colony or colonies where she has grown up that both the parents could enjoy the company of their daughter and of the bride and in case of any ailment of her own parents she can attend at once to her beloved parents and the groom’s sister who is also the wife of some body can also attend her dearest parents at once in the same manner . Though it’s tough to change the typical
customs and in the commercial age the person leaves his home town with his wife due to -‘Papi Per Ka Sawaal’ yeah the question of earning or employment which is above from all the worldly senses .
And those brides are so destined that they have been married in their own colony with quite familiar face whom she has seen and known in the hamlet since the childhood and have got study in the surrounding or same school and college. Though in the high tech new era the bride and groom know each other for a year or more and so both get so much intimidated and enjoy the engagement and then the marriage is just a formal ceremony for them but the dilemma gets hyper when the bride has to live with her husband’s parent because she faces uninvited problems in this and that way there in the inlawshome or husband’s home (Sasuraal)
And there the bride must have to bear all the hostile or uneven situations anyhow or needs to adjust with the oddies anyhow for her husband’s sake. If person gets job in his-her own area no one wants to leave his /her local premises . So government should be made available yes the opportunities to be employed in persons’ local area.
Yeah my idea and suggestions are like Plato’s imagination of utopia or Gandhi’s Ram Raajy which is impossible on the mortal planet . And in this sense each parent is helpless but okay in the modern age the high tech communication systeem ,travel facilities have kept away the distance and the daughter that turned bride doesn’t feel solitary there in her parentshome.
*NK Sevak ” Sanatan”